God knows he should be keeping an eye on the bad things happening on Earth, but instead he finds himself watching the Church channels on satellite TV. And these days, the CEO is kind of disillusioned. How can you help mankind, when they won't help themselves? Welcome to Heaven Inc, and Craig's life.įrom the Sunsets Department and Geyser Regulation to the Department of Miracles, Heaven Inc has the earth covered. Originally published as What in God's Name. Me: Is this.Now a major TV series starring Daniel Radcliffe and Steve Buscemi. Unless, of course, there's some kind of graphing calculator! We could have jumped straight to graphing. All this time I've been thinking, "Well, this is pretty hard and frustrating but I guess these are useful skills to have." Meanwhile, there was a whole bin of these things in your desk. The past three years have been a total farce. Teacher: If a farmer farms five acres of land a day. Me: What the hell else do you have back there? A magical pen that writes book reports by itself? Some kind of automatic social studies worksheet that.that fills itself out? What the hell is going on? Teacher: Okay, everyone, today we're going to go over some word problems. Me: You.you knew about this machine all along, didn't you? This whole time, while we were going through this.this charade with the pencils and the line paper and the stupid multiplication tables!.I'm sorry for shouting.It's just.I'm a little blown away. You enter in the problem and press equal. Me: You mean this device just.does them? By itself? Teacher: Simple operations, like multiplication and division. Teacher: From now on we'll be using calculators. Everyone take a calculator out of the bin. Teacher: All right, children, welcome to fourth grade math. “I still remember the day I got my first calculator He is currently a writer for Saturday Night Live.more His first novel, Elliot Allagash was released in May of 2010, followed by What in God’s Name and most recently, The Last Girlfriend on Earth, a collection of short stories about love. His second book, Free Range Chickens, was published in 2008. Excerpts of the book were printed in The New Yorker's "Shouts and Murmurs" column. His first book, Ant Farm and Other Desperate Situations, has been described as a collection of "giddy what-if scenarios". He received a two book contract from Random House prior to his graduation from Harvard University in 2007. Rich is an alumnus of The Dalton School and a former president of The Harvard Lampoon, and the son of The New York Times editorialist Frank Rich. His first novel, Elliot Allagash was released in May of 2010, followed by What in Simon Rich (born 1984) is an American humorist whose first book, Ant Farm and Other Desperate Situations, was published by Random House in April 2007. Simon Rich (born 1984) is an American humorist whose first book, Ant Farm and Other Desperate Situations, was published by Random House in April 2007.
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